Blogging is not something that in the past, I have ever really been interested in. It wasn't long ago when the idea of expressing a thought or a view over the internet would be a drag to me. Certainly not something I would choose to do. Obviously there has been a change in the way I view 'blogging' or 'expressing ideas' that has encouraged me to be writing this up right now.
What has changed? Well - a number of things in my life over the past few months have changed. A number of things that have not only caused a lot of excitement, but also a lot of intrigue. With that being said, I thought now is as good a time as any to give you a look into the mindset of a pretty simple 23 year old bloke. To kickstart my first blog, I thought I would let you in on the mindset behind one of the biggest decisions I have made in my life up until now, and one thing that has inspired me to 'share through blog' - Choosing my life partner.
That's right - As my friends you probably know. I'm getting married.
People have been asking me things like, Why now? How do you know she's the right one? Are you sure you're not too young? I hope you're making the right decision! - Let me give you a run down on where I'm at. This is how it goes.
Roughly 50% of marriages that are performed in Australia today end in divorce. It would be arrogant of me to comment too much on the hows and whys of what causes such a poor success rates when it comes to lasting marriages. Let alone happy marriages. However one thing I have learnt over the past 2 and half years is the fact that too many people in our society tend to rely on those 'feelings of love' the initial excitement of meeting 'the perfect person' to keep a relationship alive. These initial feelings of excitement towards another person we label as 'love'. But once we start to spend more time with that one person, we start to realise that they, just like us have imperfections. Things that annoy us. Things that frustrate us. Unfortunately, those same things change our 'feelings of love' to 'feelings of frustration'. The intial thoughts of, 'they're so perfect' change to 'they have so much wrong with them!'.
I strongly beleive that it's a natural progression in any relationship to begin to notice things about our 'chosen one' that frustrate us. But does that mean that has to be the end of what could potentially be an amazing relationship. Let me offer a thought - Perhaps the intial feelings of exitement towards a person is not love at all. It may be infatuation. But not love. Maybe love does not begin until we have to put our own desires and wants aside, despite the difficulty, for the benefit of the one we're with. If that is the case, then what I am saying is love is not a feeling, it's a choice.
One of the most famous verses in the Bible that is read at almost every wedding puts it this way.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud. It is not rude, it's not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
There is no mention of feelings in that verse. Only decisions. Choices. Love is in our hands to mould into something beautiful, or break it.
This brings me to why I have chosen now to choose my life partner.
I'm in a relationship with a woman who (despite her amazingness), just like me, you and every other person out there has strengths and weaknesses. She has the qualities of someone I know I want to be with forever. But the fact is, I know that through our journey we will have highs and lows. We will have times when the sailing is smooth and other times when it is rough. When we 'feel love' and when we don't. But the fact is, regardless of what weather we endure together, we have both decided that we will CHOOSE to LOVE. Sure we know we will stumble sometimes. But we have both made a decision to, do the right thing by the other person despite what feelings we may have. I've noticed that once we choose to do right, those feelings of 'love' come rushing in anyway, even if sometimes they take longer to come than other times.
Love is not a feeling. But a choice.
With that knowledge, I am not afraid that my feelings of 'love' may disappear, or that I 'may have chosen the wrong person' - I have chosen to LOVE no matter what. Having that understanding lead me to making one of the biggest decisions I have ever made.
Choosing my life partner.
The fact is that whoever we are with, we will get the highs and lows.
But regardless of the heights we reaching or the depths we dive. We will choose to love.
Choose Love
Tys
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